


Coffee, Black

by HiddenTrekker



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Coffee, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 00:16:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15919119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenTrekker/pseuds/HiddenTrekker
Summary: The true reason our Captain drinks so much coffee is revealed





	Coffee, Black

It’s always in my hand, always on the tip of my tongue to order, always on hand in the mess hall quietly steaming on the side. The crew know when I need it and know when I have had it. 

My addiction never used to be this bad, but that was before you arrived. That was before I began to deny myself something I so desperately want, before I had to find something to fill my hands so they wouldn’t stray too far from the safe areas to touch. 

“Coffee, Black” are the first words I utter upon waking, dreams of what I desire most still filling my mind. 

Sitting in my Ready Room you watch me during our morning meeting, the ritual I have developed capturing your attention. The smell of my substitute covering the scent I really want to fill my nostrils, the closing of my eyes giving the images that show my true desires one last time to show themselves before I close them off until I can dream again, the first sip of the day sealing the woman away from the Captain. 

I know you watch me, I can feel your eyes on me as this ritual is repeated cup after cup. The more I know you watch the more my need for my substitute overwhelms me. Desire for one feeding the necessity for the other. 

“Kathryn...how many have you had today?” The question that you always ask makes me smile, if only you knew the reason my coffee intake has climbed to dangerous levels the longer we have been out here. The amount I drink comparable to the need within me. 

“On a day like today it won’t be my last cup”, you don’t know the passion in my dreams, the memories that haunt me, missed opportunities and the what ifs. 

“You drink too much of that stuff”, if only you knew why. “Maybe you should switch to tea now, it will help you sleep”, I don’t want to sleep, when I sleep I dream...I dream of you, of monkeys, of bathtubs and shelters. So instead I joke and order another cup. 

Because of one addiction I can’t indulge in, at least not yet, I substitute it with another. 

 

“Coffee, Black” 


End file.
